Corporate Culture Is Out of Control (And Everyone’s Pretending It’s Fun)

Let me say something brave (and probably career-limiting): corporate culture has officially jumped the shark. What started as a simple idea “Let’s make work not feel like a medieval punishment” has evolved into a full-blown corporate personality cult where the biggest requirement isn’t competence, it’s enthusiasm.

Not the real kind of enthusiasm, either. I’m talking about the performative kind. The kind where you smile through a 7:30 a.m. “optional” team bonding activity that is somehow mandatory. The kind where you pretend a company-wide Slack emoji reaction is a meaningful human connection.

And somehow, in the middle of all this, companies are shocked, shocked! that people are quitting.

When “Company Culture” Became the Whole Job

At this point, corporate America doesn’t just want you to work. It wants you to believe. It wants you to feel like you’re part of a movement. Like you’re not doing spreadsheets… you’re “building the future.”

And listen, I love a mission as much as the next person. But it’s getting weird out here.

Somewhere along the line, “company culture” became a management obsession. Entire careers are now built around it. Culture managers. Culture committees. Culture surveys. Culture decks. Culture workshops. Culture retreats.

We have so much culture happening, you’d think we were all living inside a museum.

Meanwhile, half the staff just wants to quietly do their job, log off, and go back to being a real person.

The Great “Culture Fit” Scam

One of the funniest parts of all this is how companies treat “culture fit” like it’s the final boss of hiring.

Apparently, 91% of managers say culture fit matters more than skills and experience. Translation: “We can train you to do the job, but we can’t train you to laugh at my jokes in meetings.”

Culture fit is basically corporate astrology. It’s vague, it’s emotional, and it’s often used to justify decisions that don’t make sense out loud.

“We didn’t hire her because she wasn’t a culture fit.”
What does that mean? She didn’t want to attend pajama day? She asked what the salary was? She didn’t clap when someone announced the new printer?

The culture fit test has become less about values and more about:
“Will you enthusiastically participate in our workplace theater?”

Mandatory Fun: The Fastest Way to Kill Morale

Nothing makes people love their job more than being forced to “have fun.”

You know the drill:

• Team-building scavenger hunts
• Escape rooms (aka a simulation of trying to leave your job)
• Group yoga (for people who don’t want to do yoga)
• Trivia night (where the prize is a $5 gift card and emotional exhaustion)
• Trust falls (so HR can later say you “consented” to falling at work)

And the funniest part is how it’s always framed like a gift.

“We’re doing this for you!”
No. You’re doing this for the company so you can say retention is down because employees “didn’t engage with the culture,” not because the workload is insane and nobody can afford rent.

Most employees aren’t anti-fun. They’re anti-being treated like a toddler.

Let people work. Let people go home. Let people live.

Corporate Culture: Now With Cult Energy

At some companies, culture has gone from “we’re friendly” to “this is a belief system.”

It starts small. Some internal language. Some rituals. Some traditions.

Next thing you know:

• you’re chanting the company values
• you’re calling customers “guests”
• you’re referring to your manager as a “leader” like it’s a spiritual title
• and you’re being told your job is more than a job… it’s a calling

This is where corporate culture gets dangerous: it becomes a way to control behavior and thinking without ever saying “control behavior and thinking.”

The company isn’t just paying you for labor. It wants access to your identity.

And once your identity is tied to the company, it becomes easier to:

• underpay you (“we’re family!”)
• overwork you (“we’re all in this together!”)
• guilt you (“we need you right now!”)
• and keep you loyal (“this place is special!”)

Spoiler: the company is not special. It is a corporation. It will replace you in three business days and send your goodbye email with the wrong name.

Culture Became the Fix for Diversity… and PR Nightmares

Now, to be fair, one reason companies push culture so hard is because workplaces have changed.

More diversity, more public accountability, more visibility. That’s a good thing. But it also means companies can’t ignore workplace issues the way they used to.

So instead of actually fixing the real problems like bad leadership, poor communication, or toxic workloads many companies decided the solution was:

“More culture.”

Because culture is a nice shiny shield.

When something goes wrong, the company can say:
“We take this seriously, and it does not reflect our values.”

Then they’ll roll out a new training, update a poster, and host a mandatory listening session where nobody is allowed to actually speak.

Culture becomes less about creating a healthy workplace… and more about creating a good-looking brand story.

Everyone Copied Tech Startups… and Made It Worse

Corporate culture really exploded when tech startups became the cool kids of capitalism.

Suddenly every company wanted:

• open office layouts
• snack walls
• beanbags
• ping pong tables
• “flat hierarchy” (which is just hierarchy with fewer titles)
• and a CEO who wears sneakers so you know he’s “relatable”

But when a company tries to copy startup culture without understanding why it worked, it turns into corporate cosplay.

They take the surface-level stuff and skip the important parts like:

• autonomy
• flexibility
• respect
• compensation
• and trust

So instead of “culture,” what you get is:
a loud office, bad coffee, and a mandatory birthday celebration for someone you’ve never spoken to.

The Open Office: A Cultural Crime Scene

Let’s talk about the open office layout, the single greatest example of culture being used to justify chaos.

Open offices are always sold as:
“It encourages collaboration!”

But in reality, it encourages:

• overhearing every phone call
• watching your coworker eat tuna
• getting interrupted every 9 minutes
• and pretending you don’t hear your manager whisper-fighting in a glass room

Open offices aren’t culture. They’re surveillance with natural lighting.

If your culture depends on removing walls, your culture is fragile.

Too Much Culture Creates a Clone Army

Here’s the biggest risk of culture obsession:

A strong culture can become a homogenous culture.

And homogenous cultures don’t innovate. They conform.

If everyone has to “fit,” then nobody challenges bad ideas. Nobody questions leadership. Nobody pushes back when something doesn’t make sense.

Instead, you get:

• groupthink
• fake agreement
• and a company full of people nodding like dashboard bobbleheads

New employees feel pressure to perform the culture instead of contribute real value.

And if you don’t match the energy? You’re “not a team player.”

Which is corporate code for: “You have boundaries.”

The Real Problem: Employees Don’t Want to Live at Work Anymore

The workforce has changed. People aren’t buying the old script:
“Work hard, climb the ladder, retire happy.”

A lot of people today want:

• stable pay
• flexible schedules
• low-drama workplaces
• and time to enjoy their actual life

Companies noticed employees were disengaged and thought:
“Let’s motivate them with culture!”

But culture isn’t motivation if the job is exhausting and the pay doesn’t match the expectations.

Culture doesn’t fix burnout.
Culture doesn’t pay bills.
Culture doesn’t replace childcare.
Culture doesn’t make up for a manager who communicates exclusively through passive-aggressive Slack messages.

If employees are disengaged, it’s not because they need more pizza parties. It’s because they need a job that doesn’t drain their soul.

So What’s the Fix? Less Culture. More Respect.

Here’s the wild idea: maybe the best company culture is the one that doesn’t try so hard.

The best workplaces don’t need a culture manager to remind everyone to be human.

A healthy culture looks like:

• clear expectations
• fair pay
• good leadership
• flexibility
• and trust

It’s not:

• forced bonding
• performative enthusiasm
• mandatory fun
• or pretending your job is a spiritual journey

You don’t need a company mission statement tattooed on the wall in neon. You need managers who treat people like adults.

Because if your retention strategy depends on karaoke night, your company isn’t building culture.

It’s hosting a corporate hostage situation with snacks.

All writings are for educational and entertainment purposes only and does not provide investment or financial advice of any kind.