Do This Now to Avoid Money Problems in Your Marriage Later
Talking about money in relationships can feel awkward but avoiding the conversation is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, money is one of the most emotionally charged topics we face as couples. According to the latest stats, 41% of couples with debt argue about money. Surprisingly, even 25% of debt-free couples still have money fights.
In other words money stress isn’t just about debt it’s about alignment. And if you’re not on the same page, your relationship could be headed for tension, resentment, or worse.
Let’s break down when and how to talk about money, what red flags to watch for, and why financial differences don’t have to be dealbreakers if you manage them with communication and shared values.
Start Talking Early But Naturally
When a relationship starts getting serious, the money talk should come naturally. You don’t need to start with credit scores and retirement plans on the first date, but as things deepen, it’s critical to talk about financial values—just like you’d talk about family, kids, spirituality, or discipline.
If money doesn’t come up on its own, you can gently ask questions like:
- “How did your family handle money growing up?”
- “What’s your take on credit card debt?”
- “What does financial security look like to you?”
These open-ended questions spark meaningful conversations without sounding like an interrogation. As the relationship progresses especially if you’re talking engagement or marriage financial transparency is non-negotiable. That includes income, debt, savings, and goals.
Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore
Money avoidance is a massive red flag. If your partner shuts down every time finances come up, it’s time to ask why. Are they afraid? Embarrassed? Or just not ready to be a financial team?
Other red flags to watch for:
- Extreme spending or saving – Both can signal emotional baggage around money.
- Scarcity mindset – Hoarding money out of fear or lack of trust can create tension and control issues.
- Lack of generosity – Whether with time or money, stinginess may reveal a deeper self-centeredness.
- Misaligned values – If one of you is aggressively debt-averse while the other shrugs off credit card balances, you’re going to clash.
You don’t need to agree on everything. But if you disagree on foundational things like lifestyle, giving, or debt management, you’ll struggle to move forward as a team.
Opposites Can Work If Values Align
Here’s some good news: you don’t have to be financial clones. Maybe one of you is a spender and the other’s a saver. That’s okay. Differences in money tendencies aren’t the issue it’s whether your core values align.
Can you agree on:
- Living debt-free?
- Planning for the future?
- What kind of lifestyle you want?
- Giving and generosity?
If the answer is yes, your different habits can actually complement each other. The key is open communication and shared goals not identical behaviors.
My Hot Take on Combining Finances
Look, I know not everyone agrees with me on this but I believe combining finances is one of the best things couples can do to build trust and unity. It forces you to work together, communicate regularly, and plan as a team.
I go into more detail in a resource linked in the transcript, but here’s the short version: if you’re building a life together, your money should work together too. Transparency, teamwork, and trust go a long way.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in a relationship, money will come up. The question is will you face it with fear or with clarity?
Talking about money doesn’t have to be a fight. It can be a powerful way to deepen your relationship, align your goals, and build a future you’re both excited about.
So ask the questions. Be honest. Watch for the red flags. And remember you’re not just building wealth. You’re building a life.
All writings are for educational and entertainment purposes only and does not provide investment or financial advice of any kind.
