Rediscovering Yourself in Motherhood: Identity, Self-Care & Seasons of Parenting
As a mom, I’ve come to realize something powerful—we shape the world, one child and one moment at a time. But in doing so, many of us struggle with a question that lingers quietly in the background: “Where did I go?” Motherhood is beautiful and rewarding, but if we’re not careful, we can lose sight of ourselves in the process. That’s why I wanted to share some thoughts on identity, individuality, and self-care—because being a good mom doesn’t mean disappearing into the role.
One idea that really changed the way I think about parenting is this: your children are entering your world, not the other way around. That simple shift in perspective helped me prioritize my marriage, my individuality, and my emotional health. When I take care of myself, I parent better. When I feel whole, I show up more fully for my kids. Motherhood doesn’t have to mean martyrdom—it should mean multiplication. You still matter.
Something else I’ve learned? There’s no one right way to be a mom. Some of us are extroverted and thrive on playdates and dance recitals. Others prefer quiet routines, meaningful talks, or weekend hikes. And that’s okay. I used to scroll through social media and feel that pang of guilt—was I doing enough? Was I doing it right? The truth is, comparison is a trap. Your strength as a mom is in knowing yourself, not in mirroring someone else’s highlight reel.
When my family grew, I had to adjust. I no longer had the same energy for constant social plans, and I started to value moments of calm more than chaos. I found my groove by letting go of what I “should” be doing and leaning into what actually worked for us. That shift—embracing who I really am—gave me more peace and more presence in my parenting.
Motherhood is also not a static job—it shifts. In the early years, I was on call 24/7—feeding, rocking, bathing, repeating. But eventually, the needs changed. Now, I get moments of solitude, and I can even sit down without someone immediately needing juice. Each season has its own rhythm, and we have to adapt as we go. It’s okay to mourn one season while welcoming the next. What matters is recognizing that your effort is valid—no matter where you are on the journey.
One of the biggest shifts I’ve made as a mom is investing in me. That might sound selfish, but it’s actually strategic. Burnout doesn’t help anyone. Whether it’s therapy, a bubble bath, a walk in silence, or a deep spiritual practice, I make time to fill up my own tank. Studies even show that a mother’s happiness is one of the strongest predictors of her children’s future success. So I remind myself: my joy isn’t optional—it’s essential.
And finally, let’s not forget the fun stuff. There’s been a running conversation online lately—are you a classroom parent or a Venmo parent? I laughed because I’ve definitely been both depending on the week.
So to all the moms navigating identity, balance, and burnout—you’re not alone. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to do it authentically. Let’s stop measuring ourselves against each other and start celebrating what makes us uniquely strong.
